Recently, a friend had a tragedy occur in her close circle. Thankfully, she reached out to me, and fought agains the fear of reaching out for help. It reminded me that we don’t often talk about how these events impact us as on-lookers.  Those of us in the ‘helping professions’ find it hard to share about our internal reactions to events and situations…especially Christians.

After posting in a private group about the need for Christian Leader support, many shared their desire for a more cohesive process for finding help when in need.  I had done some of my own research regarding online searches for mental and emotional help for Christian Leaders. 

Guess what?

The stats showed that less than one thousand searches are done each month for those topics.  Take into consideration that Google gets over 89 BILLION searches each year.  

So, the question remains, where do you go for help?  

The follow up to this was: most of my previous Christian clients who came to me for professional therapy usually did so after their life, kids, or marriage was completely blown up.  It appears to me that many Christians wait to get help because they believe the Bible should be their sole resource. Then, once things are seriously out of control they seek help. Or, they crash and burn.


Sometimes, we are afraid we are being unfaithful to God, or not strong enough in our faith if we seek outside help.

Sadly, this creates an ongoing mentality of inadequacy and failure.

Maybe we should celebrate when someone seeks help. Just like when someone seeks Jesus.

Could we be so bold?


Just before typing this I went to my local behavioral health for an evaluation. I had not had one in MANY years and it was time.

Answering all the questions reminded me of the amazing journey I have been on to survive my childhood and grow into an adult who is not only enjoying the planet but giving back to society.

When I listened to myself telling this stranger the details of my survival story and the process of overcoming all the setups for failure, I really had to be proud of myself.

So most would say ‘don’t air your dirty laundry’ or even ‘how embarassing that would be’. But I say “Yay, for me for having the guts to go, be real, be sure I am on the right track, and not try to do it alone!”


Who has tried to convince you to resist seeking outside help?

What internal messages do you fight regarding you confidence as a Christian Leader?

Fight the fear of reaching out!

Let’s #NormalizeTheAsk

~Pastor Elaine 🌻

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